Sometimes if things aren’t going that great or feel confusing with a man it’s just not that easy to know what to do…with that nagging question in the back of your mind….
Should I leave or should I stay?
There may be years invested…
There may be children involved…
Your heart probably definitely feels invested which makes it all the more confusing…
Because, maybe…just MAYBE things can be salvaged.
And, many times they can!
However, not by the usual ways most people think or that you may have tried like..
~ Having a “talk” about where things are going
~ Sitting him down and pouring your heart out about how you feel about him
~ Giving him an ultimatum
~ Dragging him off to counseling
So, what is something that you CAN do that will actually be something good that will net positive results?
I call it the Pure Love Middle Way.
The Pure Love Middle way allows you to let go and stay all at the same time!
The way that this works is that the first step is you MUST take your focus and attention OFF of this man….completely!
You literally move your focus from him to YOU and YOUR LIFE.
If you have been focusing on, worrying about, trying to convince or otherwise control things with a man you have to STOP all that right now.
It’s time to give yourself a life makeover.
Since you haven’t walked away completely, you don’t have to worry about making any decisions about him at all.
He’s still right where he was and that is just fine for right now.
Here are the steps to take that when you are done:
- Merely ACCEPT that things are broken right now but you are on your way to healing and resolution.
If you broke your leg, you would accept that you needed to have a doctor put a cast on it, right?
You would then follow the doctor’s orders, take it easy and do things that are conducive to the healing of your leg…you would not go out and try to walk without your crutches!
Likewise, you want to stop trying to fix what’s broken, take advice from a professional, lean back and allow things to heal by following the outline of this program.
- Make a list of things that you have been wanting to do with your life, dust off old dreams or pursue new ones…
Get back into your own life.
When you first started dating this man, before you met him, you didn’t even know him!
More than likely, your life was going along just fine.
Begin refamliarizing yourself with the dreams that live in your heart and take small actions toward them.
Baby steps end up adding up to big changes which in turn amps up your self-esteem.
This is very attractive.
- Prioritize your self care.
You can only connect with a man’s heart to the extent that you are connecting with your
own heart.
Take time to slow down, take walks, long baths, immerse yourself in relaxing hobbies.
We often feel the stirrings of our heart in these times and this is crucial to guide us towards what our heart and intuition are trying to tell us regarding our situation.
- Find someone to talk to as you go through this process.
A trusted friend, a counselor or preferably a coach.
Whomever you choose to talk to, let them know these steps that you are taking and that you are only looking for support as you go through this process.
NOT that you are looking for advice.
People mean well and many often times give advice that revolves around waiting and being patient and, well, if that advice worked you would have already figured out what you want to do.
This plan puts you in the active mode, doing things using your masculine energy to take action for your own life instead of thinking, worrying and trying to get his attention.
You are using your femnine energy in this plan to lean back from him and learn how to just be so you can listen to your heart’s true desires for the life and the relationship you want…so you can make the best decision for you.
Not more confusion.
Make sure whomever you talk to agree to this and commit to listen without advice giving.
- Begin to look objectively at your situation and how it makes you feel.
Once we have begun to implement these changes, one out of two things are going to start to happen.
Either he is going to feel the shift, get curious and become closer to you – without ANY prompting or nudging on your part…
If he’s getting closer, his behavior will mirror your level of self-friendship and self-care and it will feel very good.
Or, he will become even more distant and it will be obvious that he is not in a place where he is interested in a connecting with you…that will feel bad.
Either way, your decision will be clear.
Very simple.
Not easy, but I know you can do it!
The Pure Love Middle Way takes you off of the path of bouncing frm one extreme to the other and sets you gently into the realm of the heart.
The heart always knows…it’s just being open to hearing it.
Love,
Brenda
If you would like to address a painful situation or question you may have please fill out the form below and and I will get right back to you with advice for your unique situation!
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