Leaning back is a way of being.
But there is also a leaned back way of communicating.
And it’s not just sitting back and doing nothing!
It’s your job to state your needs. It’s his job to meet them. And if he doesn’t, it’s your responsibility to terminate the relationship. Evan Marc Katz
So, let’s clear this up, shall we ?
Communication Should Feel Like Something Special
Communication between you and your guy should feel like something very different than all the other communication experiences you have ~ lest we say sacred.
At first, communicating with a woman he likes and wants to pursue is like gold to a man…it signals to him that you like him back.
One thing most women don’t realize about men is that when they take their shot with a woman, most of the time, they are going to be rejected.
So, this is what is going on inside their head when they approach women.
Then, most of the time, if they get a connection with a woman, they have another hurdle to jump over.
The woman won’t end up saying “yes” to a date.
The woman will start to interact with him and change her mind.
So, at the beginning he’s super excited to have her attention…he is feeling quite amazed.
What then happens is that the woman begins to feel very enthusiastic and even concerned that if she doesn’t begin to communicate more she will lose his interest.
She then begins to overfunction and communicate too much.
This causes the guy’s interest to wane.
It’s no longer a special thing so he doesn’t value it like he used to.
That’s when things start to feel very weird.
At this point, no matter how hard it seems, it’s time to lean back.
When you really think about it…don’t you want to him coming towards you with full enthusiasm?
There are studies that have shown the sweet spot for communication with a man you are interested in is reciprocating 30-50%.
This is NOT playing games or a strategy. It’s just common sense and objectively seeing how to much or too little contact will impact the growing connection.
So, don’t make the mistake that, “Now I can never contact him because I don’t want to seem too eager.” Just don’t feel desperate! Be interested and alluring. Because this may signal to him you aren’t interested in him.
You would want him to have the green light so he pursues you and knows you are interested and not just trying to be his friend…which is why it’s important to be flirty and he understands he’s not on his way into the friend zone. Because, if he thinks that he’s going to clam up or disappear. It’s frustrating and painful for them if they like you…yes, men have feelings!
So, you want to reciprocate at fairly the same level…never more. If he starts to pull away you must also drop away at the same level so you can build polarity. Polarity creates a magnetic pull. So, you can lean back with full confidence that if he is really into you he will come back around.
Do not give into the urge to take up the slack if he has pulled back. It’s just an urge that will backfire on you like any urge that is based on an immediate gratification.
It is always coming from a place of power when you also back off…and this way you also remain objective.
You should be living your full life anyway!
So, remember…leaning back doesn’t mean NEVER reaching out. It does, however mean staying in your lane, in a position of personal power, that ensures you are always in a position of power…not power over, but inner power.
That is always wildly attractive!