Nagging is an awful experience for a man and pushes him away…even if it seems to get short term results.
Instead of nagging, these ways are the higher level ways he wishes you would use to communicate what you want to him. Some are accomplished with such ease you can implement them right away while you work your way up to more advanced communication skills.
1) Add it up. If you’re still not convinced that nagging gets an F, reflect on how much you say the same thing over and over. The fifteenth time is not likely to net you different results as the first fourteen times. You have the opportunity to gain everything by implementing a new approach.
2) Focus on the wonderful things about him. Keep your eye on the bigger focus. When you think about how your relationship enriches your life, it’s easier to cut it out with the nagging where you feel you may not be seeing things eye to eye. Is it that important?
3) Take the task over yourself. It may be easier and leave you with a feeling of accomplishment to do it yourself rather than impatiently stewing for him to step up to the plate at times. Learn to do basic maintenance tasks on your car. Sweep the front or do the dishes even if he had planned on doing it but didn’t.
4) Become a lot more flexible. Convey to him that you appreciate that he is willing to help even if his ways are different from yours. Straightening out the comforter makes the room look neater even if hospital corners go out the window.
5) Hire outside help. Consider paying for a cleaning service for tasks that source of ongoing friction. Weekly housecleaning that gets done by a professional may be worth keeping the peace.
6) Streamline your work flow. Chronically being irritabile is very often a sign that you’re taking on too much – OVERFUNCTIONING. Vet out which duties are most important and which ones can wait.
7) Use technology. Short texts and digital assistant reminders accomplish the same goal of conveying logistics with much less risk of him becoming defensive. Send him a reminder that you made plans to go to a dinner party tonight without any face-to-faceinteraction.
8) Make an appointment to talk to him. Deal with conflicts when you’re both feeling good. Let him know that there is a topic you would like to address with and would there be a good time that is best for him. This puts the ball in his court so he and he will feel respected and bring his best thinking cap to the talk.
9) Ask for what you want directly but set it up with endearing him to you first and speak in the positive. Work up the courage to state what you need clearly and tactfully. One elegant communication erases years of beating around the bush.”You know what a great partner I think you are, right? And, I feel so good when I come home from work and the kitchen sink is clear. It really helps the relaxation segment of my day kick off so I can fully relax. I love it.”
10) Be a good listener. Practice empathic listening. Give him your undivided attention while he speaks and reflect back your understanding. It’s much easier to become aligned with each other and feel like your on a team when you both feel validated and you’ve expressed care. Don’t talk until he tells you he’s done speaking.
11) Prioritize your self-care and self-esteem. There are studies that highlight the fact that women seem more inclined to nag when they feel like they are in a position of less power. Empower yourself with creating a positive self-image through self-talk that is positive and make strides towards meaningful pursuits. Feeling strong and secure on the inside while being soft and radiant on the outside makes you 100% uninterested in finding faults with him and makes you wildly attractive to him!